Opinions!!! That is all they are!!!

So today while leaving church I was overwhelmed with emotion. I know it shouldn't have bothered me, as we come from different generations, but the words hurt none the less so here I am still trying to consume them. I am not sure how someone can judge me on how much I love my daughter by choosing to work. As I have just graduated and am looking for employment, someone told me basically that I need to stay at home with my daughter and that if I she was first in my life that is just what I would do. I was shocked and stood up for myself. Looking back at it now, I realize that I should have just politely walked away, however I choose to defend myself. As I explained to this person that my daughter always comes first in my life in any decisions, I was left with the response that if this was true, then I would stay home with her. I responded with saying at this time our family is not in the position for me to stay home. It was then said that I should not leave my daughter just for a paycheck and that we could live off of my husband’s income. I again gave a response which left me with the comment on how I need to make sure that my daughter is taken care of first and that she should not be handed around like a library book. At this point I just had to walk away and find Devon (who had Jade). I frantically ran around the church trying to find him as I knew I was just going to fall apart. As soon as I saw them, I burst into tears and just walked straight to the car. Even now, I sit here thinking, how can I be judged for choosing to work? How does this mean that I love my family and daughter any less? This person does not even know the relationship that I have with my daughter. They do not know how much Jade means to me and how hard we tried to become pregnant. They do not know how I spend every waking moment thinking about her and how excited I am to see her grow each day. They do not know that how much I want her to be proud of me that I was able to complete such an accomplishment in my life while pregnant, and now carrying for a wonderful little girl. They do not know the situation we are currently in and why I need to work. Really I do not even need to defend myself because for whatever reason I choose to work, it does not matter. However, today I was told that regardless of the situations, I was making the CHOICE to work instead of staying home to take care of my child, which apparently is one they did not agree with. Even now I sit here hurt and with tears and thinking, “How can someone judge me as a mother because I am going to work?” Remember that we are all at different stages, experiencing different things in life. Remember that only you know your family and that is all that matters. I know that these are just words and someone’s opinion, but it doesn’t mean that they still don’t hurt. I know that Jade will never go a day without knowing how much I love her, regardless with what I am doing. I know that everything I do I do for my family, especially Jade. I love my girl more than life itself, and it doesn’t matter if anyone else knows it as long as in my heart Jade and I know it. Be Kind To One Another

2 years later............

I did it. I finally graduated.....again. Now that it is over I cannot believe it is over, but I am done. The time has seemed to fly by but I am done. Now I have the dreaded part of looking for a job.

About to get crazy!!!

So I am about to start my last semester of school which means I will be doing my student teaching. It breaks my heart just thinking about leaving my little Jade. I know this will be hard but it will be great for my family. I will sure miss this cute face for most of the day.

My Little Big Girl

Jade has continued to grow and stay in the 90's or above for her growth. At her two month appointment she was 100% for both weighing 14.7 lbs and measuring 24 1/2 inches.

It is crazy to see how much she has already changed. We sure do love her!!

Just waiting....

So I am 38 almost 39 weeks and baby has decided that she is not ready to come yet. These past few weeks have been the most uncomfortable and I am getting impatient. I can’t wait to see our little one. Devon is always asking if I am in labor and it is so funny. They are going to give us a date to induce this week is she hasn’t decided to join us by next week. I am really hoping that she just decides to come on her own. Today someone told me that I looked huge. Wow!! Good thing I am not a sensitive sally right now. Well here’s to hoping my next post will be of our little girl.

Baby Shower!!

Enjoyed a great shower today and was surrounded by great people. I was very emotional this morning. I guess this just made it seem that much more real (you think the movement in my belly would be enough) but I guess in a way a part of me was missing. Today I realized 1) how much I miss my family, and 2) What wonderful family I have here. Devon and I have been so blessed to have so many people welcome us into their own families that for a moment I seemed to have forgotten that. While I know it will be hard to not have my biological family around when baby comes, I know that we have so many other people who love and care for us just the same. I know that it will be hard and that it doesn’t help that my emotions are in overdrive, but I know that we will be okay. Baby Alcala is going to be surround be so much love and that is all I really can ask for. ;)

Feeling It!!!

So this past week has been interesting. I am definitely starting to have that I am ready for you to come feeling. I took my glucose test on Monday and never heard back. When I called on Friday to set up my appointment for next week and asked about it they said they have results but have to wait for a doctor to sign off on the report which won’t be until next Wednesday or Thursday. I am hoping that this means things are well since they are not in a rush to tell me what came back. Baby is doing well and good at letting me know she is there. She often pokes me in my ribs and makes life quite uncomfortable at times. Doctor just says that she is running out of room and to give her a little nudge to move. Lately I have been having this dream that she comes early and we are not ready. I am excited to have my baby shower in two weeks and can’t wait to share the day with such great people. Other than that we are still chugging along. Scott and Morgan had their first week of from school last week. We went to the pool a couple times. While sitting there I got emotional thinking about how little Scott was when I first started and how we would hang at the pool all the time. These days I am not such a fan of the pool. I used to love sitting in the sun, getting a tan. These days I am a shade kinda girl, trying to avoid the sun and keep cool. Almost 7 more weeks till we get to meet our baby girl. :) So exciting.